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May 7th, 2004
02:28 pm - romance for a sadist
(some of the things in here inspired me to write "How Kristen and Brian met")
1. Watch the sunset together when it's overcast.
2. Beat the crap out of each other, but not really.
3. French kiss their belly button then complain that they aren't kissing back.
4. Hold them (5 feet in the air) with hands inside the back of their shirt.
5. Whisper humorous things to each other while at church or during some other "no laughing allowed" event.
6. Cook for each other, start each other's apartments on fire.
7. French kiss in the rain in the middle of a field in Oklahoma while the tornado siren is going off.
8. Dress each other in ridiculous clothes and act hurt when they don't want to wear it.
9. Undress each other while shopping at Macy's (but the changing rooms were full).
10. Kiss every part of their body while wearing metallic purple lipstick.
11. Hold hands and spin around until you're both crawling sideways on the floor dizzy, then run across the freeway.
12. Sleep together (actually sleep together, not sex) in the back of a pick-up on it's way to Mexico.
13. Sit and talk in just lamb chop underwear, without a care, by fruit of the loom.
14. Buy surprise gifts for each other, remember to poke holes in the box so it can breathe.
15. Froggys, rodents, or little crawly who knows what's.
16. Find a nice secluded place to lie about your knowledge of the stars, but make it obvious.
17. Tickle them every chance you get.
18. Wear underwear but convince them you aren't wearing any.
19. Lightly kiss their collarbone and jawbone just below their ear, then whisper "you smell like skittles."
20. Write bad poetry for each other, use dr. Seuss for inspiration
21. Style their hair with various condiments while they are sleeping.
22. Hugs are the universal medicine if you're a stoner.. so yeah I guess it works.
23. Say "you smell like skittles" only when you mean it, and make sure they know you mean it.
24. Tell her she's the only girl you ever want and don't lie, unless that's not true then I suppose you'll have to lie, now won't you?
25. Spend every second possible together naked.
26. Tell her she never has to do anything she doesn't want to do, but remind her that the medication probably slurs her judgment, so you'll occasionally have to make decisions for her.
27. Look into each other's eyes often (staring contest!).
28. Very lightly push up their chin, look into their eyes, tell them they smell like skittles, and kiss them, missing their lips and say "Oops, sorry, I'm not used to your face being at that angle."
29. Talk to each other using only your eyes, body language, and pig latin if necessary.
30. When in public, only fight with each other.
31. Walk behind them and put your hands in their front pockets, trip over them and bring them tumbling down with you.
32. Put love notes in their pockets when they don't know it, write them with a crayon.
33. Buy an inexpensive ring, place it on their finger, and say "Muhahahaha!, uh, I mean, spiffy, huh?"
34. Sing Britney Spears to each other while grocery shopping.
35. Read picture books to each other.
36. TNT's.
37. Take advantage of any time alone together for pillow fights or shoe wars.
38. Draw on public benches and picnic tables together.
39. Let them sit on your lap, have a freak seizure.
40. Lips were made for sound, and sound was made for communication, and communication was made for arguments, and arguments were made for make up sex. Deductive reasoning says thank you for lips.
41. Kiss their stomach while speaking Spanish.
42. Hold them around their hips/side, see how far you can throw them.
43. Hold her hand, and then let go and scream "ew, slimy!"
44. Unless you can hear their heart beating, you aren't close enough. If you are close enough and you'll still can't hear a heartbeat, run away.
45. Dance together to Christmas music in June.
46. Cherish the picture you see when she falls asleep in your arms, make sure to take the wheel before you collide with on-coming traffic.
47. Push them into the mud.
48. Do cute things like write "smells like skittles" with suntan lotion when they ask you to do their back.
49. Make excuses to page them often at Wal-Mart, ask them if that nasty rash has cleared up yet.
50. Find time to humiliate them even when you are really busy.
51. Call them from your vacation spot and tell them the piranhas made you think of them.
52. Remember your dreams, and share them with each other, except for that one with the banana, you should probably keep that to yourself.
53. Ride your bike a healthy distance to see them if even just for a few hours, even if you have a moped.
54. After you've ridden/driven home, call them, ask if they've seen your elbow pads.
55. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears, no, actually don't. Make some up.
56. Convince their parents you are deaf.
57. Act out a mutual non-sexual fantasy together, but try not to get carried away. Super glue is pretty amazing, but it can't work miracles.
58. Brush her hair out of her face for her, or just shave it off to avoid the problem entirely.
59. Spend a few minutes to point out all the ways they are wrong.
60. Talk to your shoes when you go places with him/her and their friends.
61. Practice voodoo together even if you don't believe it.
62. Take her to see a movie and remember all the parts that made her jump.
63. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night, remember the silver bullet.
64. Learn from each other and never get arrested for the same thing twice.
65. Everyone deserves a second chance, well most people I suppose.
66. Describe the joy that you genuinely feel just to know that there is another person on this planet who thinks like you do.
67. Make obvious sacrifices for each other, bring a tarp though because it's kinda messy.
68. Smell like skittles together
69. Hiccup!
70. Write a glorified story about how you met and fell in love with them, start out with "One day when I broke the ice cream machine at Old Country Buffet..." and give it to them.
71. Let there never be a second during the day you aren't plotting against them, and make sure they know it.
72. Pray to the tiki gods about them every night before going to bed.
73. Realize that you too probably smell like skittles before you accuse anyone else of it.
74. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages (ie strawberry sunday, popsicle, sugar cookie...) hey, you never know when it could come in handy.
75. Dedicate songs on the radio to them if you can, try to find something with "bitch" or "I hate you" in the lyrics, just because it's hard to find songs about smelling like skittles.
76. Fall asleep on the phone with each other (intentionally), talk about what annoys you most about your partner "in your sleep"
77. Stand up for them if someone talks trash, whether or not they are present, after all only you have the right to insult them.
78. Never forget the kiss goodnight, and always remember to say "guy/girl germs no returns" and skip away.
79. Always try to tell them everything that bothers you about them, and mean it.
80. Draw cute little pictures and symbols on the letters you give them like (*|_).
81. Give her something of personal value, give him a swift kick in the ass... cheap bastard.
82. Never do anything with other members of the opposite sex that you wouldn't do with them there with you, unless that person happens to be really hot.
83. Find a particular tree in the park to call your own, carve an evil face into the bark together.
84. Make sure to put their wishes before your own, unless they want something stupid, then make sure to point that out.
85. Always remember the anniversary and plan something special for the occasion; like blowing up the restaurant where you had you first date.
86. Board games on rainy days. Change the rules every five minutes.
87. Always say "good thing you closed your eyes" when she sneezes.
88. Share with your friends how much more nooky you are getting than them.
89. Start to open your heart to them and as soon as it gets interesting, say "nevermind." Rinse and repeat.
90. Always say bad, truthful things about other people to them to cheer them up when they need it.
91. Make fun of each other's exes.
92. Pick your nose. Pick up some chicks. Pick a card, any card (with or without her).
93. Be true to yourself- be true to each other, just kidding.
94. Spend time thinking of creative dates, did I say thinking? Aw, forget it then...
95. Burn down a bath and body works to see if it smells cool.
96. To settle an argument is to kill a conversation that includes adrenaline, now why would you want to do that?
97. If you should say anything to make them jealous or mad, remind them, "It is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."
98. Don't forget not to tell her parents anything because you're mute, remember...
99. Find a particular star in the night sky to call your own. When you know you can't be together, set a time for both of you to look at the same star and think of each other. Than again, just look at the moon, that star thing is way too complicated.
100. Being in a constant state of obliviousness isn't that bad.
101. Never wait for them to say "you smell like skittles" first, and always say it in return with meaning.
Current Mood:  amused
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02:23 pm - How Kristen and Brian met.
One day I was out fighting crime and doing my usual stuff and things, after a while (with no villains to be slayed)I thought I would borrow some soft serve from the old county buffet(If it’s all you can eat, why can’t I eat something someone could eat but didn’t right?) somehow I broke the ice cream machine, don’t go there.........then suddenly
I saw you.....you were like.....like.....something really spiffy ........
anyways, you were carrying a plate full of chicken corpses and you were wearing a shirt saying, ”I heart Porn.” albeit these flaws you seemed like someone I needed to know.
so with my udder smoothness; I Ran at you full speed and tackled you, patting you down roughly,
screaming “FIRE, FIRE!”.
you lied there motionless, you seemed okay...... just stunned.
you looked up at me obviously terrified,
your voice in a high squeaky manor “Excuse me, do I know you?”
“Yes”-I lied.
Disbelievingly you stared trying to remember my face and of course nothing came to you.
“well no, you don’t really know me, but I think you really should .” I smiled nervously.
I stood up, you still a lying on the grungy carpet staring up at me.
“What’s you name?” I asked?
“Brian.... ”
“I’m Kristen and I’m here to write dumb poetry for you, I’m here to tell you I like your eyes even though I can’t tell what color they are, I‘m here to borrow things for you, I’m here to laugh at your jokes, to tell you that you are important, to bake things for you, to teach you things, I’m here to make you feel safer, to go on walks with you, to fall asleep in odd places with you, to eat with you, to explore with you, to hear your dreams, and tell you my dreams(except the one with the banana, I’ll keep that one to myself) I’m your love cake, and you are my man skull.”
I’m here to make life in this world better for you.
Brian, I am here to love you!
out of breath I look down at you, confused but smiling you stand.
we look at each other for a moment, faces fading back and fourth between joy and misunderstanding
“Kristen, huh?”
You look towards the door and say nothing, you smile and grab my hand and we leave, as sirens whirr in the distance.
Current Mood:  crazy
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April 16th, 2004
05:09 pm - Mr.LHS
Mr. LHS 2004:
TECH SCRIPT OUTLINE
Pre-show video (~10min): -curtain opens on screen-
-Lights down full, track #1 (Holy Grail speech)
Dance 1-8: -lights up, track #2 (shake your groove thing)
MC Welcome/Explanation of CMN: -close curtain- lights down, spot-screen up-
Intro of contestants and coordinators: -Lights up-
-close curtain-screen down-
(*Melissa and Ashley stay to present thank-you*)
CMN Family sharing:
-curtain opens on screen-
(Slide show)-Dim ellipsoidal
MC Explanation of judging/points: -close curtain- dim ellipsoidal
Introduction to Judges
Videos from contestants 1&2: -curtains open on screen/close at end-
Talents/contestants 1-4:
*curtains open and close between each performance(unless noted otherwise)
1.)Josh- piano duet with mom -(2 spots)
curtain opens to piano, Josh and mom enter, sit and play-stands, bows
2.)Andy-testimony(spots)podium, no curtain
3.)Jake-Swing dance(spots)track #2 on “Swing”
4.)Joni-Band(spot on Joni)ellipsoidal 1&2@50%
Videos contestants 3&4: -Screen down , curtain to screen line-
Talent contestants 5-8:
*curtains open and close between each performance(unless noted otherwise)
5.)Ben-magic show-Curtains closed, ellipsoidal 5 up-
6.)Ryan-Dancing-”luck be a lady tonight” tape? -curtain when signaled-
7.)Bradley-Speech-curtains closed-apron w/podium/stand up flags(red and blue spots?)
8.)Jon-band- ellipsoidal off- red spots on Jon
strip 1&2+1 strip 3 full
Hospital tour video: -Screen down, curtains open, lights down-
DASH for CASH: -Curtains closed, house lights up-
(Cont.........)
(continued.......)
--------------------INTERMISSION (8 min.)---------------------
-house light flash warning @ 2 min.-house lights off-
Videos 5&6: -Screen down-
Formal with Moms 1-8: open curtain full, lights up no spots-
track #4 “Beauty and the beast instrumental” (tape thanking moms?)
Videos 7&8: -screen down
Interview ?’s: -screen up, curtains open lights full- (stools?)
-curtains close-
Judges depart: -follow spot judges out
---judging or whatevah- remove stools.........
Door prizes:
misc. Thank you’s
Junior presentation(Dan. W/ Nate. P) -???-
Words form Scott Barns, Mr. LHS 2003: -lights down, spot on Scott, curtain closed-
Welcome contestants and coordinators in formal wear as a group: -lights up, open curtain when group has assembled)
Debi White-CMN presentation to group:- she talks to contestants
Thank you to coordinators:-coordinators leave stage-
Presentation of Mr. congeniality
Crowning of Mr. LHS 2004: -royal type music?
Reprise dance:-track#2 “shake your groove thing”
Celebrate end of program
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Thank-you!
I would just like to take this last bit of space left on this paper to say thank you for being patient with me and taking your time helping make this a successful production, It truly would have bit the big one with out your guys’ help......
well, I guess that’s about it, here’s to the best tech crew that ever......um......um......supplied technical support....yeah....woo. Go team.
stuff and things, with lots of crap:
Kristen
Current Mood:  busy
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January 1st, 2004
10:07 pm - Happy freakin' new year!
Hello, loved ones!
I've decided to not a make a new year resolution,
but instead to make anti-resolution's I want to develop new interesting/weird/odd maybe even bad habits, to add interest to my life.
any ideas?
*bows*
-Kristen
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December 29th, 2003
01:31 pm - It's the American way!
Yep.....I am alive.....sorry to those of you who are dissapointed.
More than I feel like typing has happened....
and stuff you might not already know is none of your biz-naz(read:bussiness)
but I will apologize to the male population, for I am taken.by Brian(I love you!)Woo! yes, I know a dark cloud of saddness has come over the land in news of my un-availableness....but you all must learn how to deal.......are you finnshed makeing fun of me.......................how 'bout now?.........alright, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut you off.....ok that's much better.
now.......
It snowed last night! I've been telling people how I wanted to build an evil snowman with sharp teeth and fake blood holding a decapitated arm...that would surely be great,yes?.....I know thats why I said it!....dumbass.....geeze some people...
last night I walked into J'Aime's house and I saw a very large christmas tree and me, with my honesty stated "wow, that's a huge tree!" J'Aimes little brother says "thank you" thats pretty normal right? right. A little while later I said "wow that's a really big cat." J'Aime's little brother pops out of no where and says "thank you!" now wasn't that a great story...weee! ^_^
last night I had a great vision and I was saying it out loud to J'Aime
it was a little like this. I mean exactly like this...ummm...
"whoa, I was just thinking about a seal, only I just realized it wasn't a seal....THAT'S NOT A SEAL! THAT'S A BEAN BURRITO!!!....it was a bean burrito sliding on it's...belly?....the majestic bean burrito of to hunt for it's daily meal, off into the sea he goes!".
or somthing like that...what could it all really mean? *shrugs* ah well.
hopefully J'Aime and I can go to starbucks...I like coffee.... we will walk there in the snow....fun!.....complete thoughts where did thee go?
Happy post Christmas!
*salutes, bows,runs into a pit full of lions*
-Kristen
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June 19th, 2003
07:17 pm - SUMMER TIME
Yes, it is......
so far my summer has been realitivly eventful, I went with J'Aime to Eagle crest, it was pretty fun, mostly it was just very relaxing. I even had my own room and J'aime kept waking up before me which is odd, J'aime is not a morning person.
I was hanging out with her and we were talking alot about some really odd things lets just say we figured out one piece of my mind, possibly the world(in my opinion)even though I'm not sure if we're supposed to even know about the hollow men, I think that they're meant to be forgotten. anyways, we bounced thoughts of all this stuff trying to figure it out. I really feel that it's important, but also like we're pushing the envelope, and like J'Aime said "what happens when it falls?"
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May 17th, 2003
10:46 am - Bye-Bye, Birdie....
Hello Journal,
as usual, I haven't written in a long time, and as usual I don't care. I wanted to praise my friends for their wonderful job in bye bye birdie(and I thought it was gonna' suck) everyone did well, there was no one I could pick out and say that they suck, you know, one of those people on full-throttle suckiness, that just ruins the whole show for everyone? although I felt the show was much better on thursday (and I screwed up less!) and speaking of me screwing up, I thought mrs. Edwards was really pissed at me, but she said "Mr. Patch doesnt understand you're just learning" and then later "You have one of the hardest tech jobs, you're doing a great job" despight icy glares from Mr.Patch I'm realived...and whats better, tonight I have ALL of my note's(yeah, I made them myself) but it should go smoother, so what if it's the last night :)
for some odd reason I'm very happy....whoever might be reading this.....I LOVE YOU!...well anyways, I'm looking forward to Ashland, and I'm hopeing everyone that wants to go can, which is including myself.
Current Mood: pleased
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April 28th, 2003
09:16 pm - Convention...and today
The youth baptist convention was swell, although dissapointing compared with last year...I think I liked iceskating most, it was my first time, and I didn't even fall! man am I good! the hotel was cool, even though we got yelled at by the securty guard (BAH!)the next day I just slept....today I went to school late, at lunch I found J'Aime to be missing.so of course I called her, then I left the school to give her some company(my poor sick friend..)we hung out and I went home...then I did almost nothing the rest of the day. BOW TO THE GREAT CORN!!!, SEE THE GREAT INTELLECTUAL GIFTS HE GIVES TO ME?!?!YESH, OF COURSE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA....HA...ha..ha...*cough*
-KRiSTARD
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April 23rd, 2003
09:26 pm - gah!
This is a story I wrote in 8th grade, I find it to be very sappy and slightly embarrassing, I found out for certain that it's going to be in this book called "Discovery" it's a short story book, for comprehension learning.whatever. it came up in a diffrent format and the memory sequence is supposed to be in itallics, as well as a few other things but i dont know how to do that on live journal. bah.
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keep with you memories of childhood close, vivid and joyful, because at that point in your life you’re allowed and encouraged to notice details, and feel things hard.
I believe we all possess a gift, a beautiful gift, and one that allows us to use our five senses to their full potential, to see small things, things taken for granted, and considered by the adult world to be unimportant. if even noticed at all. I want to share with you something important to me as a child, when I was about eight years old at a time in my life when discovery had no end, and simple pleasures were welcomed with open arms.
(I yawned and wiped the sleep from my eyes and viewed my surroundings
not wanting to leave the warmth the couch had absorbed from my body
I got up reluctantly to my feet, almost collapsing, but that funny fuzzy feeling soon left my legs, seeming to fade out through my toes into the carpet.
I let out a sigh of readiness to start my day.
I walked to the glass sliding doors and looked outside. The night still held on, fighting the new day, but lost just as always. Everyone in the house was still sound asleep.
My fingers slid across the cold glass door, fogged by my breath as I opened it. I closed the door behind me, barely missing my clumsy fingers.
My goal this morning was the large cherry tree centered in my yard, a special place away from the world. It had a tree house built strong by my Grandpa.
I climbed the rusty ladder made of metal pipes. My hands turned reddish-orange from the old worn ladder. I wiped the rust color on my pants and made my way up the ladder.
I steadied myself then sat down in the tree house. I gazed at the ripe cherries, swollen with juice, ready to burst like fat little balloons. Usually the cherries were gone because the Blue Jays would eat them, but there were many left, (they must have slept in)
The branches drooped heavy with cherries, and I stretched to reach one. Dangled the single cherry back and forth picturing a clock
or maybe a pendulum. My tongue felt around my mouth for a chipped tooth from biting hard into a cherry last summer. It reminded me, I leaned over and squeezed the cherry and the slimy pit fell soundlessly to the ground beneath the tree house.)
I am now 13 years old, and the tree house became old and rotted and fell to the ground. Things have changed; and so have I.
my Grandfather who built the tree house, died from a disease called cancer, at that time I didn’t understand, but I have grown and learned, I become more and more me, every day, but every once and a while I’ll find myself thinking about those things I found so Important, and they were, they still are.
You may think that I have lost my safe place, but you’re wrong. My special thoughts, my childhood way of thinking: you see and hear things differently even food doesn’t taste quite the same, these memories will always be in my mind. I can go to my special place wherever I am, anywhere. my safe place, I’ll always have it with me, all while I become. myself.
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April 19th, 2003
10:27 pm - rainbow colored hands......
My hands....are like an abstract painting, or maybe a impresionism...with out the impresion of anything in particular. My Grandma insists on dyeing eggs, even though I'm the youngest in the family and the only minor...they haven't even hid any for the past 6 years....I dont even like hardboiled eggs...and making them brightly colored doesn't increase their flavour on my palette. I've never been one for silly traditions. Today (before the egg dying) has been pretty cool J'Aime,Jeff,JD and I all hang out, supposedly looking for costumes for bye-bye birdie(very productive...)the spring musical that they're in. then we went to this thing at my church, It was slightly amusing and I found out that JD has a very big mouth(from the game chubbie bunny) later, JD and I waited for my grandma at 7-eleven(JD thought I was very amusing getting into the backseat with my bike.
*later on*
During dinner I looked down and I saw I pair of glowing eyes, I screamed...it was satan, my cat(yes, I named him)...he seriously freaks me out....he doesnt act like a cat...and I swear he can understand what I say...*looks behind self*
well anyways.....I need to go take a bath, go to bed, sleep.
church tommara' weee... I love you all...happy Easter if I don't write again.enjoy your candy, enemies, may you choke.
-Kristen
Current Mood:  scared
Current Music: none...the cat might hear....
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